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KATIE ZERR: To hug or not hug? Biden needs to learn that lesson

Are the women who say Joe Biden made them uncomfortable harming a movement that is necessary in today’s society?
As a person who has been referred to as a “Feminazi” by some of my male friends and relatives, I have applauded women sparking the Me Too movement by finally coming forward and telling their stories. I stood up and cheered when some men, who used their power over women to demean and assault them, were taken down by that movement. I did this because I know what happens when women deal with men of power or men who feel they are entitled.
I sat with a friend in an emergency room after she tried to say no and was forced into sex anyway. I held the hand of a friend who broke down and told me her ex-boyfriend raped her repeatedly the night she broke up with him.
I know women whose jobs were made so miserable by men who thought it was their privilege to grab, rub, make sexual advances and expose themselves that the women left those jobs.
I watched a fellow manager take advantage of wait staff that made better money on certain shifts. He was in charge of staffing and took advantage of those who needed to work those shifts. When I spoke to the owner of the business, also a man, he said he would talk to that manager. Nothing changed.
The Me Too movement allows women, who had no voice because they had no power, to finally find that voice and the power to stop the sexual abuse and harassment.
I am flabbergasted when I hear people say they don’t believe this kind of thing happens.
It does. All of the time and it has to be stopped.
So, when a woman like me hears that there are women coming forward to say Joe Biden made them feel uncomfortable with his inappropriate touching, it set me to thinking.
My first thought was if only I had a nickel for every time I felt uncomfortable with touching from anyone, male or female, I would be fishing in a boat somewhere while others toiled away at work. Women who work in the food and beverage industry have a million stories to tell.
Feeling uncomfortable because of others touching or invading your space is something that is very common. One would think nearly every person on earth has had that reaction at one time or another.
The second thing that came to mind as I listened to one of Joe Biden’s “victims” is that she was doing a great disservice to the Me Too movement.
If this woman could make me roll my eyes at her story, imagine what people, who do not believe there is a need for the movement, were doing.
As this woman talked about how Biden put his hands on her shoulders and his cheek in her hair, she was asked if she thought his actions were sexual. She immediately said no, just inappropriate.
I thought about that for a minute and a slew of names came to mind of people I know who are inappropriate in their “space invasion” who are merely an annoyance and not a danger of any kind.
I thought about some who are oblivious to the fact that they are invading personal space with closeness or their touching manners. Then I thought about myself maybe a time or two being inappropriate with “space invasion.”
I am not making any excuses for Joe Biden. My attitude is obviously things have changed, change your vibe Joe. Somehow you have to learn some women don’t appreciate the space invasion.
But for some to put Biden in same category as Harvey Weinstein or some others not worth mentioning, I found it disheartening.
There are men I won’t let hug me because of prior experiences with them. There is a big difference in “I’m uncomfortable” and “I will never let that creep touch me again.”
Would I let someone I don’t know hug me? Yes. It is a way we greet and meet each other. It is a manner in which we are welcomed into a home or someone else’s space.
Hugging, touching and the exchange of human contact is good for the soul.
I like hugging other people. Until they give me a reason not to.
Having to endure rubbing, squeezing or hands that don’t belong there are not the same as good hug.
When a man touches and hugs as a manner of greeting or for comfort and another man as a way to “cop a feel,” women know it.
For someone who knows the difference and has used a hand to the chest to block a lech from coming in for a “hug,” listening to women whine about feeling uncomfortable was a bit much for me.
Sorry ladies, feeling uncomfortable is not on the same playing field as being pushed down on the bed or against the door frame or being forced to your knees because you need to pay your bills.
It is not the same and shouldn’t get the same news coverage or the same reaction.